NAPTIME MEETINGS

I’m a Mom

Part 2: I’m a Mom.

Becoming a mom was the greatest thing that has happened to me. Ever. I had contractions all night – although I didn’t know they were contractions because I was two weeks early– and when I felt that it was an acceptable time to get out of bed, I decided to work for a few hours until my doctor was in the office. Once I was able to get a hold of the office, they told me to bring my hospital bag because I was in labor and going to have my baby! I even finished up a deal while I was just waiting for her to arrive. OK – I probably should have kept my phone away, but we were just hanging out so might as well, right? August 5, 2014 changed my life in the most positive way.

Maternity leave was great. It was such a change of pace from my normal crazy, busy life. I was still busy, but it was different. My access to my work email was cut off and it was the first time in who knows how long that the only emails I had to go through were my daily flash sale emails, which I treated with just as high of importance (sorry, Josh). I had been so concerned before Kallie was born about updating my candidates, and clients, and everyone I worked with, and how were things going to run with out me there?! Once she was born though, I realized that things could and did function without me. I was lucky to have a great team behind me so I didn’t have to stress about what was going on and I could truly enjoy being a mom.

I had never been more tired in my life but I didn’t mind waking up with my sweetie, because I knew I wouldn’t always have this time to just “be” with her. I could just sit and hold her and watch all the seasons of Nashville and Heart of Dixie guilt free. It was a time I could enjoy my relaxed life because I knew I would be going back to work eventually. My company gave me 3 months of maternity leave and, before I had Kallie, I was certain I would be back when she was 6 weeks old. After I had her, however, it took me a good 4 weeks to even feel like I could wrap my head around being a parent and at 6 weeks she still seemed so little. In no way was I emotionally ready to leave her. Not yet. I finally understood why my boss wouldn’t listen to all of my plans before I had her.

Another thing that stopped me from going back so quickly was some postpartum complications. At 2.5 weeks and again at 5 weeks, I started hemorrhaging and had to be rushed to the ER each time, getting a total of 2 D&C’s. As scary as it was at the time because initially they weren’t sure what was wrong with me (one of the potentials being cancer – yikes! – ended up being part of the placenta was extremely fibrous and attached to the uterus causing there to still be a steady blood supply which would build up and cause me to bleed out…ew.) I’m really grateful it happened because it was the excuse I needed to justify to myself (as if I needed a justification) to stay at home a little longer with my baby.

The remaining 6 weeks flew by and I continued to get more and more attached to my baby and fall ever more in love with her. As my return day approached my anxiety grew. It was time for me to merge my two lives – my old workaholic life and my new baby-loving life. I didn’t know how it would all work and as mentioned before, I like to have it all figured out. I made about a months worth of freezer dinners (link to some of the recipes below – pick and choose what you like) so I had that out of the way, I practiced using the breast pump so I’d know how to pump at work (ugh), and I’d gotten back up to being able to run 6 miles in preparation for the half marathon I had signed up for (over ambitious), doing all of this so I could prepare for what I had control over.

A week before I was to go back, Kallie had started to sleep at least 6-7 hours! It was a Godsend. Even though she had started to smile, hold her head up, coo, become very aware, and do all sorts of grown up things, she was still so little and I was getting heart sick to think of not being with her all day. I had everything lined up to where Josh would stay with her in the morning until about 9 or 10 and then go and drop her off with my sister in law, mom or MIL. I knew she would be in good hands and I was and am so grateful to have such a strong support system, but it still wasn’t with me.

Finally, the day of reckoning was here and it was my first day back…

(I’m starting to feel like Bachelor in Paradise with how many “To Be Continued’s” I’m having.)

How did you prepare to go back to work? Did you feel emotionally ready? If you decided to not go back to work, was it a difficult adjustment to stay at home? Let’s hear your stories!

Links to recipes (thanks, Pinterest):

http://ashleynoelbarnes.blogspot.ca/2013/05/10-freezer-to-crockpot-meals.html?m=1

http://hearthandholm.blogspot.com/search?q=40+freezer+meals

http://moneysavingmom.com/2014/09/6-crockpost-chicken-freezer-meals-30-minutes.html

http://www.gracefullittlehoneybee.com/12-easy-freezer-meals-2-hours/

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I’m Pregnant

Going Back to Work

Welcome back everyone (i.e. mom and Josh)! I’m glad you both (I mean all) decided to join me again! Going back to work after having a baby is an interesting time that played with my emotions 100 times more than I thought that it would. There are quite a few side stories that are involved in my going back to work story. Due to that, this will be a 3 part continuing post: I’m Pregnant, I’m a Mom, I’m an employee…I mean mom…I mean – how does this work? The first couple of weeks in the process of going back to work were some of the most emotionally interesting weeks of my career. Stay tuned

Part 1: I’m Pregnant. Abby Roberts Prego2

I found out I was pregnant on December 2, 2013. Once Josh and I had gotten over the initial shock and excitement of “holy [crap] we are having a baby” my mind went straight to “holy [crap] I’m going to have to tell my work at some point that I am pregnant.”

Why was I so nervous? This was supposed to be one of the most exciting times in my life and part of it was foreshadowed by my fear of telling work. My boss was a very understanding guy, he had 3 kids of his own, and my coworkers had kids, yet I had built up this intrinsic fear of divulging my new secret. My biggest fear was that once I told them I was pregnant, they would think I was going to slack off or do any less of a job. I was nervous to tell my clients and my candidates I was going to be out of commission for a couple of months and risking the fact that they might use a competitor. Another reason I was nervous was because we had just come off of a couple bad months and I needed to make sure I had a few good months of “wins” so they knew our performance was market related and not because I was pregnant. Luckily we had growth in January and February or else my belly growth would have given me away by March. I didn’t tell my work until I was 16 weeks along (thank heavens flowy shirts are in) but it was finally dooms day: the day of confession.

About a week after I spilled the beans. Clearly couldn’t hide it anymore.

I was SO nervous to tell my boss. I requested a meeting, we walked in, I sat him down, looked him square in the eyes, and just blurted it out. There was no eloquence or even the luxury of small talk before I dove into it; just a straight “I’m pregnant.” And, much to my surprise, he was extremely supportive. I wanted to make sure he knew I was going to be coming back to work and he listened to my rehearsed case sincerely. I thought I had said all of the right things and I sure was convinced I was coming back and that I had deduced the perfect re-entrance plan. Once I finally let him get a word in, he said “I’ve been a manager for a lot of years and people always have a plan, but we will figure it out after you have the baby. I’m not saying you won’t come back but things change once you have a baby.” I assured him that I would be back even before my allotted maternity leave was over. I wanted to work out every detail and figure out my schedule – I could work two days from home, or have flex hours or this, or that. He would have none of it until after the baby came. I like to plan. I like to have everything in order and he was making this very difficult for me. The only concrete thing he left me with was that if for some reason after I had my baby and was deciding not to come back, I had to promise to let him know as soon as possible so he could start to find a replacement. Again, I told him that wouldn’t be an issue and that I was going to be back, but I could tell he still wasn’t fully convinced and wouldn’t be until I was back in my seat.

How did telling your work go (whether you were planning on coming back or not)? Did you work it up in your head like I did? Was your work supportive? Let me hear your story!

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And it Works.

I’m a Mormon.

I’m a Mom.

And I work.

And it works.

(pause for effect) Abby Roberts and Kallie

When I first got pregnant the most frequent question I got was “will it be weird to not work anymore?” to which I would pause, smile, and respond, “I am going back to work.” I would then get the follow up question, “oh, so you are going to be working part time?” Again, the pause, smile, and response of “nope, I’ll be back full time.” Confused nods would proceed.

I always knew that it wasn’t the societal norm in Utah culture for moms to go back into the workforce fulltime, but I didn’t realize the intense oppositional pressure received until I was actually faced with the questions and assumptions. We all choose to work (single mom, need double income, need a break from kids, independence, husband is in school, enjoyment, etc.) or not to work for different reasons, but our quest for finding that holy grail of balance remains the same. I work because I enjoy my job and I’m good at my job. I’ve found something that works for my family and me and I couldn’t do it without the support of my people and partnership of Josh. We definitely don’t have it all figured out and I’m constantly figuring out ways to be an effective working mom in the workplace and at home.

Through this blog, I hope to give more awareness to being a working Mormon mom and dive into how we are constantly finding that balance for us. I hope to be able to relate to moms everywhere as we all have things in our lives we are trying to juggle (school, friends, exercise, making dinner, tumbling, dance, soccer, the list goes on, and on). Join me on my journey of discovering how to be a mom, wife, professional, and friend.

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Who I Am