I’m a Mom

Part 2: I’m a Mom.

 

Becoming a mom was the greatest thing that has happened to me. Ever. I had contractions all night – although I didn’t know they were contractions because I was two weeks early– and when I felt that it was an acceptable time to get out of bed, I decided to work for a few hours until my doctor was in the office. Once I was able to get a hold of the office, they told me to bring my hospital bag because I was in labor and going to have my baby! I even finished up a deal while I was just waiting for her to arrive. OK – I probably should have kept my phone away, but we were just hanging out so might as well, right? August 5, 2014 changed my life in the most positive way.

Maternity leave was great. It was such a change of pace from my normal crazy, busy life. I was still busy, but it was different. My access to my work email was cut off and it was the first time in who knows how long that the only emails I had to go through were my daily flash sale emails, which I treated with just as high of importance (sorry, Josh). I had been so concerned before Kallie was born about updating my candidates, and clients, and everyone I worked with, and how were things going to run with out me there?! Once she was born though, I realized that things could and did function without me. I was lucky to have a great team behind me so I didn’t have to stress about what was going on and I could truly enjoy being a mom.

I had never been more tired in my life but I didn’t mind waking up with my sweetie, because I knew I wouldn’t always have this time to just “be” with her. I could just sit and hold her and watch all the seasons of Nashville and Heart of Dixie guilt free. It was a time I could enjoy my relaxed life because I knew I would be going back to work eventually. My company gave me 3 months of maternity leave and, before I had Kallie, I was certain I would be back when she was 6 weeks old. After I had her, however, it took me a good 4 weeks to even feel like I could wrap my head around being a parent and at 6 weeks she still seemed so little. In no way was I emotionally ready to leave her. Not yet. I finally understood why my boss wouldn’t listen to all of my plans before I had her.

Another thing that stopped me from going back so quickly was some postpartum complications. At 2.5 weeks and again at 5 weeks, I started hemorrhaging and had to be rushed to the ER each time, getting a total of 2 D&C’s. As scary as it was at the time because initially they weren’t sure what was wrong with me (one of the potentials being cancer – yikes! – ended up being part of the placenta was extremely fibrous and attached to the uterus causing there to still be a steady blood supply which would build up and cause me to bleed out…ew.) I’m really grateful it happened because it was the excuse I needed to justify to myself (as if I needed a justification) to stay at home a little longer with my baby.

The remaining 6 weeks flew by and I continued to get more and more attached to my baby and fall ever more in love with her. As my return day approached my anxiety grew. It was time for me to merge my two lives – my old workaholic life and my new baby-loving life. I didn’t know how it would all work and as mentioned before, I like to have it all figured out. I made about a months worth of freezer dinners (link to some of the recipes below – pick and choose what you like) so I had that out of the way, I practiced using the breast pump so I’d know how to pump at work (ugh), and I’d gotten back up to being able to run 6 miles in preparation for the half marathon I had signed up for (over ambitious), doing all of this so I could prepare for what I had control over.

A week before I was to go back, Kallie had started to sleep at least 6-7 hours! It was a Godsend. Even though she had started to smile, hold her head up, coo, become very aware, and do all sorts of grown up things, she was still so little and I was getting heart sick to think of not being with her all day. I had everything lined up to where Josh would stay with her in the morning until about 9 or 10 and then go and drop her off with my sister in law, mom or MIL. I knew she would be in good hands and I was and am so grateful to have such a strong support system, but it still wasn’t with me.

Finally, the day of reckoning was here and it was my first day back…

(I’m starting to feel like Bachelor in Paradise with how many “To Be Continued’s” I’m having.)

How did you prepare to go back to work? Did you feel emotionally ready? If you decided to not go back to work, was it a difficult adjustment to stay at home? Let’s hear your stories!

Links to recipes (thanks, Pinterest):

http://ashleynoelbarnes.blogspot.ca/2013/05/10-freezer-to-crockpot-meals.html?m=1

http://hearthandholm.blogspot.com/search?q=40+freezer+meals

http://moneysavingmom.com/2014/09/6-crockpost-chicken-freezer-meals-30-minutes.html

http://www.gracefullittlehoneybee.com/12-easy-freezer-meals-2-hours/