A Humbled Heart

A few nights ago, I was rocking Kallie to sleep (as I do every night) when Josh came in after she’d been asleep for about 45 minutes, and I finally conceded to put her in her crib. There are certain nights (more often than I’d like to admit) where I hold her perfect sleeping little innocent body, and my eyes well with tears and I fully understand the expression that “my heart just might burst” because of how grateful I am for her, and the opportunity I have to be her mom.

This same night as I was looking down at her sweet face, my mind wandered to the people in my life (and all moms who have experienced this) who have lost a child or who have difficulty getting pregnant, and my heart goes out to them. I am continually impressed with the strength they have. On my sleepless nights when Kallie isn’t feeling well and just needs to be snuggled, I am not upset that I have to get up with her and miss out on my precious sleep (that’s what caffeine is for). Instead, I am grateful for the chance to hold her and be with her. I would rather have a million sleepless nights than one night without her, and I can’t help but think about and send my love to those that are having struggles that I can’t even pretend to understand.

Each one of you is an example to me of how to  be strong day after day when you feel like you are crumbling inside. And no matter how much it hurts, you are able to be the one that encourages me and puts in perspective what a struggle really is. Your example helps me to see that a deal that falls through or that a meal that goes unmade because I didn’t have the energy really isn’t that big of a deal. My arms are outstretched and my heart is humbled at the thought of what you are experiencing. Tonight, I will hold my baby extra tight. Tonight, I will be extra grateful for my miracle little one. Tomorrow, I will look again to your strength and perseverance to lean on and learn from, and hope to offer some comfort and support to your anguish.

What does your mind wander to at night? What are you grateful for today? Who in your life is an example to you?